


Attack on Chara...

by iHateFridays



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan, Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Crossover, Fanfic, attackontitan, undertale - Freeform, undertaleattackontitancrossover
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-28
Updated: 2019-05-29
Packaged: 2019-06-17 14:53:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 16,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15463845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iHateFridays/pseuds/iHateFridays
Summary: CRACK FIC. Chara's stuck in the AOT universe, and the only way to get out is to complete an almost impossible trial. What makes it hard is the whole story is completely stupid, Eren won't leave them alone, and the swarms of Levi fangirls won't get out of their face. And plus, maybe Chara themself is falling in love? Cover by me, on hiatus





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a dream I had! Meant to be silly. XD Hope you like it!

Chara felt themself being flung through various dimensions. They didn't know where they were going or how to stop. One second they were in a genocide timeline, about to destroy the world, and now they were flying across space, going who knows where.

Chara was very annoyed about being dragged around everywhere like the forces of the universe were playing beach volleyball with them. They just wanted to live in a peaceful timeline with their best friend and unlimited amounts of chocolate.

Unfortunately, that wasn't quite what they got. They instead landed on the ground… in some place that… was oddly vaguely familiar to them. It almost looked like one of those silly animes they'd heard of…

This place was definitely a village of some kind. There were people roaming around, doing all the regular village things. Chara would know, they'd grown up in a village themself. They rubbed their aching head. The jerkish portal had ever so politely dumped them roughly on the ground. Chara hugged themself and stood up, once again observing their surroundings. They stood out like a sore thumb compared to the other kids. They were all wearing stinking rags while Chara was wearing a green shirt with a pale yellow stripe. Their boots and pants were brown.

Chara wondered why this weird village with people wearing stinking rags was surrounded by a wall. They thought about something related to American politics which I won't mention for the sensitive readers' sake.

Chara kept walking with their head down and arms folded. They did it to stir off anyone who wanted to talk to them because Chara hated humanity… and socialising. In the distance they eyed some kids who definitely weren't important at all. Because they're definitely not main characters, Chara ignored them and kept angstily walking around. There had to be a SAVE point here somewhere. Chara wanted to get out of this dump as soon as they could.

Chara searched high and low, and was even tempted to look underneath a woman's dress. Yet, despite their angsty attitude Chara had decency, and wasn't pervy enough to do such a thing. Come on guys, we're not going that way.

Chara wondered why they kept almost running into the unimportant kids. They even made awkward eye contact with the small group, which infuriated them probably a little too much.

Finally one of those kids actually walked up to the angsty bean and asked, "I've never seen you before… who are you?"

"It does not matter," Chara replied angrily. "I will be leaving soon anyway."

"You're gonna go outside the walls?" the kid asked.

"No, fool, I am going to a different universe." Chara responded.

"What…?" the kid asked. "Whoa, are you an alien or something?"

"No you insolent little baby human," Chara growled. "This is why I am leaving. You are currently the bane of my existence."

"Hey." the girl said, glaring at Chara. Chara rolled their eyes. They had seen much scarier things.

"Whatever, you fools won't be important to anything anyway," they said. "Farewell." They stormed off, holding up their head.

"Wow, what a jerk…" Eren mumbled, now having a name because plot convenience.

"Yeah, hope we don't see… him… her… again…" Mikasa agreed. "Were they a boy or a girl?"

"They could identify as a hamster…" Armin commented quietly.

"Or a bag of poop." Eren replied, chuckling.

While the kids were assuming Chara's gender, the child themself was still looking for a SAVE point. They soon realised this world didn't have one.

"Curses," Chara growled under their breath. "How am I supposed to leave now? There are no codes for me to access… it's like I'm not in a video ga-"

Suddenly, a magical genie appeared because ex machina.

"You ain't never had a friend like me." it sung in a voice very similar to Rebecca Black's.

"Oh please, if you are going to sing I will drown myself in that pond." Chara grumbled, covering their ears.

"Well, I'm not that genie anyway," the genie shrugged. "I sound too much like Rebecca Black. No, I'm here to help you out, Chara."

"You can get me out of this filthy universe?" Chara asked, for once not sounding like the king/queen of angst.

"I can indeed," the genie nooded. "But terms and conditions apply."

"What are you, an insurance company?" Chara asked, folding their arms.

"No, what I mean is there's a catch," the genie corrected itself.

"Why didn't you just say that in the first place?" Chara face-palmed.

"Because dialogue is great," the genie replied, winking.

"No it is not," Chara snapped. "Tell me your ridiculous catch so this stupid chapter can end already."

"Fine, fine," the genie waved its hands. "So, in this universe these people are living behind these walls because of these giant things called Titans. The Titans basically want to eat every human in existence."

The genie showed Chara a few pictures of the Titans.

"Good for them," Chara responded, folding their arms. "I say let the Titans continue their mass genocide."

"Dude." the genie frowned.

"What?" Chara asked, pouting. "I cannot stand humans!"

"Well, then you ain't gonna like this catch," the genie replied, glaring evilly down at Chara. "In order to return back to your universe, you have to kill every single Titan, all by yourself. No human is allowed to be eaten by a Titan. If one does get eaten by a Titan, you are allowed to reset. But be careful. You only have twenty resets. If you run out of resets…" the genie's face darkened. "Then you'll be stuck here forever."

"W-what?!" Chara spat. "That is completely unfair! There is no way I can kill who knows how many of those Titans all by myself, even with 100 resets!"

"Well, you'll get weapons and stuff…" the genie shrugged. "And besides, you have a bunch of sick knife moves, right?"

"That does not help in the slightest!" Chara snapped. "My 'sick knife moves' will not be effective against those disturbing giants!"

"Hmm, you're one stubborn little prick…" the genie sighed. "How about… 21 resets instead of 20?"

Chara threw a chocolate wrapper at the genie.

"Fine, fine," the genie sighed. "You can get help from… three other people. But only three. And you have to kill the most Titans out of them all."

"Even with more people, it is still impossible," Chara growled. "Especially since I know next to nothing about these 'Titans', aside from the fact that so far they are more appealing than you."

"Come on, you're Chara, the infamous Fallen Angel!" the genie replied, scowling. "If anyone can take on this challenge, it's Undyne. I mean you, whoops, totally my mistake."

Chara glowered.

"Three helpers," the genie repeated. "21 resets. Not a single human death caused by a Titan. All Titans dead. If you tick all those boxes, then you can go back to your world. If not, you'll never see home again."

Chara gritted their teeth. "At least 40 resets."

"Uhh, how about 25?"

"40!"

"Okay, how about 30?"

"FORTY!"

"Fine, 35?"

"I SAID FORTY!"

"21 it is!" the genie cheered. Suddenly, the ground rumbled. Chara yelped, trying to keep their balance.

"Oh look, your first Titans are coming!" the genie clapped its hands. "Good luck, Chara!" It disappeared. Chara looked up at the wall, only to see a giant, red face appear. They shivered.

"This will not end well for me…" they mumbled.


	2. Why did I continue this...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I CONTINUED IT FOR SOME STUPID REASON

"Incredible," Chara grumbled. "That thing looks like an anthropomorphic tomato." They shrugged. "Well, not like it can ruin this wall."

The 'anthropomorphic tomato' suddenly kicked the wall down.

"Welp," Chara sighed. "I jinxed myself." ;)

The force from the kick was so strong it was like a tornado. Buildings were flung about everywhere and Chara crashed into some woman shielding her child.

"Good grief," Chara muttered. They looked at the woman, insanely dramatic music playing in the background. "Hello, would you like to be one of the three accomplices to help me kill all Titans in existence?"

"Are you crazy?!" the woman screamed.

"I will take that as a no." Chara sighed. They looked up and saw a bunch of ugly giants walk in. They clenched their fists.

"21 resets," they sighed. They ran towards the giants, but their eye was caught on the unimportant kids running away. Where were they going? Chara felt curious, despite the kids being unimportant and all the rest. They, like James Bond, stealthily followed the kids. Then they stopped being stealthy to be convenient.

"FOOLS!" they yelled at the kids. "FOLLOW THE CROWD AND GET OUT OF HERE!"

"Oh man, it's that kid again." Eren grumbled.

"SERIOUSLY!" Chara snapped. They looked behind them and saw someone dead. They frowned. Not already! Then they realised that person had been killed by debris and didn't count. Chara breathed out in relief.

"MOM!" a voice screamed. It belonged to Eren, who was staring at his mother who was caught under a pile of debris. Titans were approaching from everywhere. Chara made a face.

"I will be back." they said. They raced off and started climbing up some debris, like they were some kind of monkey. Which they were, considering they were human...ish. They held out their knife.

"This is going to break physics," they sighed. "But who cares? This is a fanfiction, after all!"

Chara dug the knife into the debris and pulled it back, making a kind of slingshot. They then forced some of their determination into the knife, making their body flash red for a moment. They then zoomed into the air, landing on a Titan's neck.

"TIMBER!" Chara screamed, cutting everywhere on the Titan's neck like a maniac. The Titan fell down, just as Chara jumped onto another Titan and did the same thing. They saved some poor person's life, which also made them feel good.

"BEWARE MY DETERMINATION!" Chara roared. They suddenly slipped and fell off a Titan's shoulder, plummeting towards the ground.

"No!" they yelled. They held out their knife, just managing to grab onto a roof. "Thank you, Ex Machina roof!"

They glanced over and saw what was happening with Eren's mother. A Titan was approaching. And the mother was still stuck.

Chara ran over to the mother and her kids, still holding out their knife. Eren was being angsty and yelling quite a lot. This annoyed Chara. They were the Angstlord around here.

"Hey, you unimportant fools!" Chara yelled.

"YOU OF ALL PEOPLE?!" Eren whined. He sighed. "DOESN'T MATTER! HELP US!"

"I will," Chara said, holding out their knife. "I will kill that Titan!"

"Are you crazy?!" Eren screamed.

"NO MY NAME IS CHARA!" Chara argued. They glared up at the Titan. "YOU DISTURBING TOMATOEY AND MUSCULAR BEAST! YOUR LIFE ENDS HERE!"

Chara climbed onto a roof. They did the slingshot thing with their knife again, and flew towards the Titan.

"BURN!" Chara screamed. "BURN LIKE A SPARKLY VAMPIRE! OR DON'T, ACTUALLY! THAT'S CRINGEY!"

However, suddenly a bird comedically carried Chara away. It was the bird that carried you over a disapportinaly small gap.

"What is the meaning of this?!" Chara demanded the bird.

"I'm a bird you idiot, I can't talk." the bird responded, holding Chara with its webbed feet.

"But you just talked." Chara growled.

"No I didn't," the bird responded.

"Yes you did." Chara snapped.

"Squawk squawk." the bird said.

Chara sighed. "Where are you taking me?"

"Uranus - just kidding, over a disapprotinaly small gap," the bird responded, laughing like a child. "Our journey is done, speaking of that." It suddenly released Chara from very high above onto a bunch of rocks. "Bye, punk!"

"You stupid feathered fool!" Chara screamed, falling to their doom.

RESETS: 1

RESETS LEFT: 20

"That was the most pathetic way to die I have ever experienced." Chara grumbled, waking up in the middle of the stinking village for a second time. "And I have already lost a reset…"

The wall was suddenly destroyed.

"Here we go again..." Chara sighed, dodging a cat flying towards them. They did the same thing as they did before, flinging themself upwards with a knife. This time, they decided to save Eren from that creepy Titan. Oh wait, all Titans are creepy.

"Say goodnight you scoundrel!" Chara roared, landing on the Titan's neck. They sliced everywhere so quickly Gordan Ramsey would've begged them to join Hell's Kitchen. The Titan fell to its death. Hooray.

"OMG…" Eren gasped. "You saved us?"

"You crazy kid…" Eren's mother shook her head.

"Excuse me, but I am far older than you thank you very much," Chara growled. "Despite my appearance. These flushed cheeks tell lies." They landed on the ground. "Now I have to go and save a bunch of meaningless lives, farewell." They ran off, being salty and angsty and etc.

"Who is that kid…?" Eren asked, dumbfounded. Mikasa kept staring at them weirdly. Eren's mom shrugged.

"They said their name was Chara, now get me out of this thing," she grumbled. "This is worse than my pe-"

Chara had no idea what they were doing anymore or where in the hecking heck this fanfiction was going, and neither, frankly do I. Chara just kept killing Titans and saving plenty of lives, how heroic. And they also killed any approaching birds.

"Curse you feathered beasts," Chara growled. "I hope you all get consumed by carnivorous animals!"

"That thing is a demon," some of the soldier guys admired Chara.

"Yeah, where'd he or she even come from?" another asked. "I've never seen 'em around before now…"

"What if they're a Titan in disguise?" another another asked. "I mean, their gender is impossible to decipher. I bet an annoyingly large community argues about it all the time."

"If they're a Titan in disguise, why are they killing other Titans?" another another another asked.

"Uhh, have you guys seen the later seasons of this show?" the first another asked.

"Breaking the fourth wall is not your job, sis." the second another retorted.

"Did you just assssuuuuuuummmeeee mah gender?" the other another retorted.

… we're gonna leave it at that.

Chara was finished saving lives. People were cheering and screaming all around them, Chara didn't seem to care why. They were tired, man. Give 'em a break.

"Oh my flipping…" Armin stared at them. "They saved everyone!"

"With the power of anime…" Chara mumbled. "I…" They fell over.

And died for a second time.

BUT LUCKILY THEY HAD REACHED A SAVE POINT SO WE DON'T HAVE TO START THE CHAPTER OVER AGAIN BECAUSE I'M LAZY LOL

RESETS: 2

RESETS LEFT: 19


	3. Ughh another chapter...

Previously on this stupid fanfic-

"How did I get here? HOLY CRUD I HAVE TO BECOME A MURDERER TO GET OUT- WAIT WHAT IS THIS, DANGANRONPA?!"

Now back to the current events…

They first appeared over a hundred years ago, giant humanoid creatures with a taste for our-

Oh wait, you've already heard that too, dammit, why do I keep missing things up?

CUE THE INTRO: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SAAFA5T_GBE&t=26s

"Oh my God," Chara covered their ears. "Who was playing the recorder just then?"

"Flute," Mikasa corrected. "It was the author, they had the speakers on at full blast."

"Oh," Chara said. "Anyway, what stupid place are we going to next?"

"We're going on a lifeboat, like in the Titanic," Mikasa replied. "Except it's a totally different situation and nothing like the Titanic, aside from the lifeboat thing."

"Where will this lifeboat be taking us?" Chara asked.

"A slightly less crappy place than here," Mikasa answered. She frowned. "Are you done asking questions?"

"Almost," Chara said. "One more. You know what you remind me of?"

"What?" Mikasa asked, tilting her head.

"One of those Titans," Chara said. "The ugly one. It looks just like you."

"Oh, really," Mikasa deadpanned. "Well, you remind me of some dog turds I saw earlier."

Rivalry intensifies

Eren would've face-palmed if he wasn't going through some serious PTSS. Although his mom was actually alive here Titans were still freaking him out.

Chara and their new enemy Mikasa arrived at the boats. Suddenly a whole bunch of soldiers picked Chara up and lifted them around, calling them the 'hero'.

"Please, put me down…" Chara grumbled. They were very embarrassed.

"Want your own private room?" one of the soldiers asked.

Chara suddenly enjoyed being picked up and carried around.

"Wait," they frowned. "If I saved everyone, why are we evacuating?"

"Because plot," someone answered. Probably Mikasa. "Oh yeah and the Titans have also taken the village and are partying way too hard."

Chara made a disturbed face.

Sadly not everyone could evacuate because like Mikasa said, this is a Titanic situation despite having nothing to do with the Titanic. Oh, I just realised the name… Titanic… Ha ha!

"Now is not the time for stupid jokes." Chara grumbled.

Silly Chara, it's always the time for stupid jokes.

Chara muttered a curse.

Suddenly, the golden muscly anthropomorphic tomato Titan thing punched through the wall. Everyone freaked out.

Chara sighed. They didn't want to save more smelly humans from those Titan thingies.

"Someone throw an explosive on those humans," they said. "It'll save me time."

"Say WHAT?!" Eren yelled at them.

"I'll do it anyway," Chara said. They pulled an explosive out of the thing we call plot convenience and threw it at the humans on the dock.

"DUDE WHAT THE FRICK!" Eren yelled.

Then this story got rated T for offensive language in my Christian Fortnite server

One explosion and a bunch of angry people later...

Suddenly Eren turned really angsty and wanted to murder every Titan in existence.

"I'M REALLY ANGSTY AND I WANNA MURDER EVERY TITAN IN EXISTENCE!" he roared.

"The author literally just said that you idiot." Mikasa replied.

"Hi guys, I haven't appeared at all this chapter so here I am," Armin said. "Okay, bye!" He left.

"Talk about needlessly awkward," Chara said.

"So, where are you from again?" Mikasa asked them.

Chara replied with something so rude this website would crash should I dare write it here.

"Wow, you got a stick up your butt or something?" Mikasa asked.

"I want to return to my world," Chara said. "Will you help me?"

"Yes, but only because I want you to leave as soon as possible." Mikasa replied.

"Okay, that means you'll be killing Titans with me." Chara informed her.

"Oof." Mikasa said.

"KILLING TITANS?" Eren looked at them. "COUNT ME IN TOO!"

"As long as you don't whine." Chara said.

"I don't whiiiinnneee!" Eren whined.

"Uhh, me too!" Armin said. He made a face. "Wait, what am I saying?"

"Welp," Chara smiled. "I've got my team sorted out already."


	4. Chara drops a diss track

The people finally arrived at some place where everyone was angsty and there was a shortage of food. Luckily our four heroes managed to get some food, though Chara would have greatly preferred chocolate. They had some in their pocket, but everyone would crowd around them like seagulls if they knew and Chara preferred not to experience such a thing.

"OMG why those smelly kids get all the food?" this one soldier asked.

"Because ageism." this other one replied.

LOUD GROAN

"Oh yeah Titans aren't that bad btw." another one said.

"YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING!" Eren yelled angstily, angstily running towards the guards and angstily attacking them. They angstily pinned him down, where his friends, not so angstily, had to save him.

"BURN!" Eren yelled at the soldiers/guards/whatever.

"WHAT DO WE LOOK LIKE, A FIRE?" the soldiers asked.

Chara gave Eren a side-swipe. "Being angsty is my job."

Eren returned it. "Not anymore boi."

The two continued to side-swipe each other.

"Okay, enough," Mikasa stepped in between them.

"Yeah," Eren said. "The Titans are the ones that should suffer! I'LL KILL THEM ALL!"

"No, I will," Chara said. "If I don't, I cannot go home."

"What do you mean?" Eren asked. "Where are you from again?"

"Your rear end." Chara answered.

Eren side-swiped them. They side-swiped him back.

"Please stop hitting each other…" Armin said. "You'll make this story rated T."

"This is nothing compared to what the Titans do, but anyway." Chara sighed. They paused. "That reminds me, I have to go out and kill a bunch of them."

"Right now?" Eren stared at them.

"Well, as soon as I can," Chara said. "I need something to do. This place is very boring."

"I'm coming with you!" Eren said, making a fist.

"I won't stop you, but I must warn you that you will most likely die if you do, and I do not want to have to waste a reset to resurrect you." Chara said.

"A reset…?" Eren asked.

"Hey, here's a better idea," Mikasa interverned. "How about we all join the cadets next year and become super bad-a**?"

NO SWEARING IN MY CHRISTIAN MINECRAFT FANFIC

"Hmm," Chara made a face. "I like it."

And so that's what they all did.

A FEW YEARS OR A LAZY TIME SKIP LATER, YOU CHOOSE

"ARE YA READY KIDS?" the commander asked a bunch of soldiers, including Chara & friends.

"AYE AYE CAPTAIN!" they all shouted back.

"GOOD, BECAUSE MY JOB IS TO MAKE YOU ALL MENTALLY UNSTABLE!" the commander said.

"I like potatoes!" a girl screamed.

"OH WAIT, WE HAVE TO PLAY THE INTRO NOW!" the commander yelped.

OUR NAMES WOUNT BE REMEMBERED

FI WE DIE LIKE TRAMPLED FLOWERS

I RESUSE TO BE FORGEOTEEN

WROTEEN OFF AS LESS THAN WORTHY

"THAT SPELLING IS ATROCIOUS, FORGET THE INTRO!" the commander yelled. I think his name is Keith or something so I'll just call him that. "ANYWAY, BACK TO TORTURING YOU SMELLY KIDS BY LEAVING MY CAPS LOCK ON!" He looked at Armin. "YOU LOOK LIKE A SHORT-HAIRED BARBIE!"

"THAT'S NOT MY FAULT, SIR!" Armin replied. "THAT'S GENETICS!"

"I KNEW THAT IDIOT!" Keith yelled. He went over and intimidated other people.

Chara made a face, staring at all the spookt children. "Is this really necessary?"

"Yep…" Mikasa replied. "We need some kind of story progression."

"POTATOES!" a girl named Sasha screamed. She was eating a potato. "INTERNET MEMES!"

"NO INTERNET MEMES IN THE HALLS!" Keith yelled at her.

"But you just made one-" Sasha began, but Keith took her potato. Evanescence played in the background. Sasha cried.

"Who the Hell are you, with that creepy smile?" Keith asked Chara.

"Greetings, sir," Chara said. "I am Chara."

"I CAN'T EVEN TELL WHAT GENDER YOU ARE!" Keith asked. "WHAT'S YOUR DEAL?"

"I'm whatever gender you think I am," Chara answered. "What's your deal?"

"WHERE ARE YOU FROM?" Keith demanded.

"Your local trash can." Chara answered.

"YOU WILL BE IN A SECOND!" Keith roared. "QUIT GIVING ME SASS!"

"Says the one who was giving me sass in the first place." Chara said sassily.

TEN MINUTES LATER

Chara held a microphone to their lips and started rapping.

"I'll have you know that I am metaphorically the wall,

The saviour, the hero for all,

Sure I look like a ten year old,

And that my face is going to constantly explode,

But I have more skills than your mother,

I can list them one after another,

But right now I have better things to do,

I have to kill Titans so they don't kill you,

Plus this world is a disgrace,

Someone get me out of this place."

Everyone cheered at Chara's intense diss on Keith.

"WHAT IS THIS, YOUTUBE?" Keith asked. "DAMMIT, YOU'RE ALL DISMISSED, THE AUTHOR IS TOO LAZY TO WRITE A REBUTTAL FOR ME!"

So everyone went to their cabins or whatever. A lot of people wanted to talk to Chara since they knew how heroic they were and all that.

"Go die." Chara said as a response. Classic Chara.

"That's Chara," Mikasa said. She made a face. "They're a jerk."

AND THAT'S THAT FOR THIS SEXY CHAPTER FOLKS!


	5. STRINGS

You thought this fanfic was over? HA!

… Sadly, it's not.

…

PLAY THE INTRO

SkanxjdhsndjdjLajduccjdbdj

Jahchcudjsnxjlzhhodowjshfvnckakqhdidwf

Ausjxhcuidospamdhciockvjiswj

THE END

"What even was that intro?" Chara asked. "This author is hopeless…"

Eren was suddenly arguing with this one guy.

"Not again Eren…" Mikasa face-palmed.

"Why did I agree to let him be a helper of mine?" Chara groaned.

Too late to change things now Chara HA HA HA

"Fantastic." Chara said, blatantly breaking the fourth wall. "Also, I will enlist in these Survery Corps if it means I will kill more Titans."

"So you're crazy too?" this one guy asked Chara.

"Why does everyone think I'm insane?" Chara asked. "I can be sadistic on occasion but I'm not crazy."

"You look like a ten year old," the guy said.

"Excuse me, I am by far much older than you!" Chara argued. Though they really did look like a ten year old and they were way shorter than everyone else. They only got accepted into the army or whatever because of their sick skillz. Though I guess they didn't know that Chara also exploded a bunch of people as well but uhhhhhh

"Pfft." the guy rolled his eyes. Chara suddenly side-swiped him. He side-swiped them back.

"Chara!" Mikasa said. "You're not Eren for Heaven's sake."

"Whatever, this is getting dumb anyway," Chara said, walking away while doing a little dance.

"What's the dance for?" Mikasa asked. Chara shrugged. Fanfiction logic I tell you what.

"Dammnnnnnnn gurl," the guy suddenly perved on Mikasa.

"I don't have time for this, I've gotta find Eren." Mikasa said, leaving.

"BABY NO!" the guy screamed. Chara side-swiped him again and went to bed. Armin watched this all, and wished he had the power to remove himself from this fanfic.

THE NEXT MORNING AFTER SOME SCENE WITH POTATO GIRL AND OTHERS THAT I'M NOT PUTTING IN HERE BECAUSE IT DOESN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH CHARA SORRY

"TODAY WE'RE TRYING OUT ATTACHING YOU TO STRINGS AND LETTING YOU DANGLE EVERYWHERE!" Keith yelled. "IF YOU FALL OFF THEN YOU'RE OUT SUCKER! HAVE A GOOD TIME KIDDOS!"

So everyone attached themselves to strings or watched over people attach themselves to strings.

Some people were good at it. Others not so much.

"I don't need strings," Chara said, holding up that knife from the first chapter. "I propel myself off the ground with this."

"Oh yeah, aren't you that hero or something?" someone asked Chara. "The one that kept referring to the Titans as tomatoes and was OP as hell?

"Yes, that is me," Chara said. They turned all salty. "I will show you amateurs a thing or two about killing Titans."

They held out their knife and flung themself up onto the wall. They somehow managed to stay up there; maybe they had blu tack on their hands or something. Or because they stuck their knife into the wall. You decide.

Anyway everyone thought it was really cool.

"YOU!" Keith yelled at Chara. "ARE YOU A TREE FROG?"

"No, I am a salty old depressed somehow alive human," Chara responded. "And I have skillz."

Everyone gasped dramatically.

"WELL CAN YOU HELP THIS IDIOT?" Keith asked, pointing at Eren who was completely tangled in strings.

Chara groaned. "Kill me."

They got off the wall and walked over to Eren. They side-swiped him so hard he fell out of the ropes. Everyone cheered.

WE BRING YOU A MESSAGE FROM OUR SPONSORS DURING THIS INTERMITION!

Are you having trouble finding food? Are those pesky Titans eating your whole family? Well that just sucks for you, kiddo. Get Oof Car Insurance today and sometime, in the future, your relatives won't have to pay as much for their cars! This has nothing to do with anything since no one in this fanfic even knows what cars are but who gives a damn suckas! I want your money! HA HA-

OKAY, BACK TO THE STORY!

Everyone was sitting on their beds, wondering what the point of that sponsored ad was because this is a fanfic, not a radio show.

"Anyway, I'll now tell you all my backstory," some guy said to Eren, Armin and Chara who really just wanted to sleep. "Titans are scary. I wanna go home."

"Oh…" Eren sobbed. He and Armin hugged each other, crying. "So… sad! That backstory went into so much depth!"

"Whatever." Chara said. They went to sleep.

Eren's mom occasionally showed up and embarrassed Eren, but hey it's better than her being dead right?

Oh wait it doesn't matter who dies this is a stupid fanfiction, nothing changes anyway.

ANOTHER SMELLY TIMESKIP

So it turns out Eren's string thing was broken or something.

"How unreliable," Chara turned up their nose.

"YEAH, PLOT CONVENIENCE IS THE WORSE," Keith agreed. "ANYWAY YOU PASSED EREN, CONGRATS, EAT A PANCAKE."

"I'M IN SUCKAS!" Eren cheered. "SUCK MY *censored word*, MIKASA!"

"Eren! There might be children reading!" Mikasa gasped.

"Oh heck…" Armin said. Mikasa side-swiped him.

NO SWEARING IN MY-

"NOW IT'S TIME FOR A DRAMATIC SCENE OF EVERYONE RIDING INTO THE SUNSET WITH THEIR EQUIPMENT!" Keith exclaimed.

A bunch of people put on their gear and used it to swing around trees like hyper monkeys. Chara ended up doing it as well. They were proud now, as they swing around. They got a whole army on their side! They were totally going home for sure. Especially with their hella cool knife and this whole equipment thing.

"SCREW YOU, YOU PATHETIC GENIE, WHEREVER YOU ARE!" Chara yelled, doing a flip over a tree.

"Hee hee hee," the genie giggled, pretending to be a grasshopper in such tree. "The fun's barely started!"

"WHAT THE HELL YOU CAN TALK?!" someone screamed, noticing the grasshopper genie.

"Y'all are gonna fight Titans, and you're scared of a talking grasshopper?" the genie asked. "Kids these days, so weird." It bounded away.

THAT'S THE END

PLAY THE CREDITS

Oh wait there's still more chapters to come AHHHHHHHH


	6. Fangirls vs Spaghetti - which is worse?

In the year 845- just kidding I'm too lazy, go back and read the previous chapters

"Wait wait wait," Chara held up their hands. "I did not know we were in the year 845!"

Really? Didn't you watch the episodes, Chara?

"Of course I didn't, I was too busy being dead you fool!" Chara snapped.

Well, whatever. Cue the intro.

"Do not cue the intro," Chara snapped. "It's far too catchy and whenever I try to sing it I sound incredibly racist."

Come on Chara we can't skip the AOT intro! It's the best intro in all anime history!

"I do not give a damn you insolent trash lord," Chara grumbled.

Fine, we'll skip it.

Everyone was now running through a muddy forest on a rainy day, like it was some sort of marathon.

"RUN YOU FATSOS!" Keith screamed, running beside them on a horse.

"Why do I have to do this?" Chara complained. "I'm already a success! And I am not fat, thank you very much!"

"YES YOU ARE!" Keith bellowed. "AND SHORT TOO! YOU LOOK LIKE YOU JUST CAME OUT OF THE WOMB! ALSO I'M DOING THIS BECAUSE YOU SKIPPED THE INTRO AND THAT IS A CRIME AGAINST HUMANITY!"

"For Asgore's sake…" Chara grumbled, groaning under the weight of the logs on their back. "Oh well, at least I'm ahead of Armin."

Armin frowned.

"Hmm…" Chara had a bright ideas moment. They turned around and sung, "DEJA VU-"

"I'VE JUST BEEN IN THIS PLACE BEFORE, HIGHER IN THE STREET AND I KNOW IT'S MY TIME TO COME HOME!" Armin began singing along as he raced ahead. It was the cringest thing anyone had ever seen that even the Titans facepalmed, and they weren't even there.

"THIS IS THE PART WHERE I MAKE NOTES ON EVERY CHARACTER BECAUSE ANIME!" Keith yelled. "CHARA YOU'RE UP YOURSELF BUT YOU'RE THE ONLY USEFUL CHARACTER HERE!"

"I am not up myself, you ARE!" Chara argued. They fell and face-planted into the mud.

Chara made the decision to go out and kill every Titan right now since the training to them was a 'huge waste of time'.

"Don't do that Chara, this fanfic will end too quickly!" Mikasa argued.

"I want this fanfic to end quickly!" Chara grumbled. They held out their red knife thing. "Also everyone here is driving me insane."

The child scaled up the wall with their knife. Somehow. I don't know.

Mikasa suddenly pulled out a rope and threw it up. It landed on top of the wall… somehow. And it somehow stayed there. Somehow. I'm not explaining logic here.

Mikasa chased after the child by climbing the wall or whatever.

"I'm sick of Eren being the mainest main character," she said. "It's my time to shine!"

She suddenly turned into a ninja and sky-rocketed up. Landing on top of the wall, she glared at the Titans a long way below and gave them all the middle finger. The censor board almost pushed her off the wall, but then she would die and that was pretty offensive. Even though peeps have already died. Eh who cares.

"Hey hey hey, this is my fanfic." Chara said, trying to push her off the wall. The two got into a fist fight. The Titans and random bystanders began cheering them on. Some of them were even eating popcorn and drinking soda.

"FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!" the audience screamed.

"SURPRISE SUCKAS!" A bird suddenly crashed into the two fighting and knocked them off the wall.

"DAMN YOU!" Chara screamed as they and Mikasa fell to their death.

RESETS: 3

RESETS LEFT: 18

"I can't believe that actually happened." Chara grumbled, waking up in their bed in the place where all the corps hang out.

MEANWHILE IN THE UNDERTALE WORLD

"Hmm…" a random monster said. "I feel like someone should be here but they aren't."

"It's your mom." the other replied.

"I HATE DUST." Frisk crawled out of the ground.

"WHO WANTS SOME OF MY SPAGHETTI?" Papyrus walked in, holding up a bowl of spaghetti.

Everyone immediately fled.

BACK TO THE TITAN WORLD

Chara held up their knife, beating up a couple of side characters with their sick moves. They got bored of it and decided to go out and kill Titans again.

"You," they pointed at some random boy but popular named Marco or whatever. "Come with me."

"Why?" Marco asked.

"Because I said so you freckle-covered fiend." Chara snapped.

"Uh, okay, coming!" Marko or Marco who cares chased after them. Chara grabbed him and waved him in the air.

"Hey you obese smelly Titans," they growled. "It's lunch time."

"I DIDN'T AGREE TO THIS!" Marco screamed, as Titans came from everywhere.

"I DIDN'T EITHER!" Chara screamed back. "BUT YOU WON'T ACTUALLY DIE SO DON'T FREAK OUT!"

Marco freaked out. Chara rolled their eyes.

"I needed you for one reason," they said. They held up a hand. "Wait…"

The Titans came closer. Marco kept freaking out. Suddenly, there was the sound of a stampede. Marco screamed.

"No, don't remind me of the Lion King!" he whimpered.

"That movie does not even exist yet!" Chara argued. "But, in all honesty, it is something far worse than hyenas."

A whole army of Marco fangirls came running from every direction. They either chased the Titans away, complaining about how they killed 'the one true bae'. Someone kept making jokes about halves. That would be me. You can only love half of Marco, ladies. ;)

Marco was confused. "I die?"

"Not anymore." Chara said, smirking, as the rabid fangirls chased the Titans. Even Titans were afraid of fangirls. "We won't be seeing them for a long time. It is finally time to relax."

"WHO WANTS SOME OF MY SPAGHETTI?" Papyrus asked, holding up a bowl of spaghetti. How he got here, we shall never know.

Chara and Marco screamed and ran away.

Chara and Marco ran into the sleeping place where there was a fight going on.

"Splendid," Chara grumbled. "Just what I wanted. Another pointless fight to interrupt my monotonous and pathetic existence. And of course it involves Eren. That young man has no self control."

"Where've you been?" Mikasa asked Chara.

"We chased the Titans away with the power of rabid Marco fangirls," Chara said, gesturing at themself and Marco. "What about you?"

"Eren's being stupid again." Mikasa said.

"I can tell," Chara mused. "That seems to be a habit of his."

Suddenly Keith broke in, looking like a creepy stalker.

"THE HELL IS GOING ON IN HERE?" Keith asked. "I JUST GOT ATTACKED BY A RABID ARMY OF TEENAGE GIRLS SCREAMING 'MARCO BAE COME TO ME DADDY'!" He pointed at Chara. "SOMEHOW I KNOW YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH THIS!"

"Excuse me, it is not my fault Marco has so many fangirls," Chara argued. "And besides, the Titans are scared of them so they're good weapons."

"THAT'S TRUE," Keith said. "NIGHT KIDDOS!" He did a backflip before disappearing into the ground, like Frisk did.

"I can't believe my fangirls are that scary…" Marco whimpered.

"Ah, do not fear," Chara patted his shoulder. "Levi's are far worse. Same with Sans. Trust me. You have seen nothing yet. That's not a good thing by the way."

"Uhh…" Marco still looked nervous.

"Whatever," Chara said. "I'm going to bed, and if anyone wakes me up, I will summon your fangirls next, let them trample you, then force-feed you Papyrus' spaghetti."

"DID SOMEONE SAY SPAGHETTI?" Papyrus asked, suddenly appearing. He was holding a bowl of spaghetti.

"RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" someone screamed. Everyone ran away in terror, screaming. There wasn't much worse than Papyrus' spaghetti or rabid fangirls.


	7. Eren goes to court

"LISTEN UP, YOU PSYCHOLOGICALLY DAMAGED ADOLESCENTS!" Keith screamed. "WE'RE SKIPPING SOME EVENTS BECAUSE THE AUTHOR IS LAZY! THESE ARE THE TOP-PERFORMING HUMAN BABIES!"

A row of people stood in front of all the rest, including Chara, of course. They were number one of course, considering how freaking talented they were, especially with that fancy knife. Mikasa was a close-second. A very, very close second. The two kept glaring in each other. Some people considered this a sign of the two being tsunderes and immediately began writing fanfiction.

Eren got into another fight with this dude while everyone else was chilling out.

"I swear, all that Eren does is fight with people," Chara sighed. "I can't believe he's the protagonist in the original show."

"Says you who argues with me a lot," Mikasa pointed out. "And sideswipes people."

Chara thought about sideswiping her in retaliation but thought better of it.

Ten seconds later

Eren went outside to be emotional.

"You should talk to him," Mikasa told Chara. "You can get emotionally attached to him and then cry over his death."

"Like I would get attached to such a temperamental fool!" Chara argued, being a temperamental fool.

"Do it anyway," Mikasa said. "I'm sick of you sitting next to me and complaining to me about how your butt itches during the night."

"Right back at you," Chara grunted. "Fine, I'll speak to that crybaby fool, but I expect a grand sum of ice-cream sundaes when I return."

"How in the Tomato Titan's buttcheeks am I supposed to make a 'grand sum of ice-cream sundaes'?!" Mikasa snapped. "Do they even exist in this time period?!"

"Google it." Chara replied, before storming outside. Eren was hanging out on the stairs with Armin.

"Oh Eren," Armin said, puckering up his lips. "I love you."

"Oh Armin…" Eren blushed. A very inappropriate, M rated scene suddenly took place.

"What the Hell?!" Chara yelled.

~~TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES; PLEASE STAND BY~~

Chara, ignoring… the event that they had unfortunately walked into, seated themself next to Eren on the wooden stairs. Armin had gone back inside to… read books or raid the fridge for booze, whatever he does.

"My butt itches during the night." Chara complained.

"That sucks, I guess." Eren replied.

Awkward silence.

"So," Chara said after about twenty minutes of extreme awkwardness, "I hate you."

Eren began crying.

"Oh come on, I'm not the only one who does," Chara grumbled. "Get over it."

"It's not that… people tell me to die all the time, I'm used to it," Eren sobbed. "It's just… I stepped on a ladybug!" He cried out in agony. "I'll never be forgiven for this!"

Chara gasped in horror. "Damn right you'll never be forgiven! How could you, Eren? Even the Titans aren't this horrible!"

Eren kept sobbing. "I know, I know! I wish I could give myself up to the Titans, but they wouldn't eat me because they'd be so disgusted by what I'd done!"

Chara shook their head in disappointment. "I am very disappointed in you, Eren. Very disappointed."

Eren continued sobbing while Chara sighed deeply.

"I have only one thing to do now," they said. "I am going to sentence you to court for your crimes, Eren."

"No!" Eren whimpered. "I'm the mainest main character, aside from you! Please, let me live!"

"I cannot do such a thing," Chara said. "You evil murderer!"

Eren cried so loud Chara had to cover their ears. Everyone else was so annoyed they went outside to see what the stupid noise was.

"EREN SHUT THE HELL UP!" everyone yelled.

"NO! I DON'T WANNA GO TO COURT!" Eren screamed. He was louder than a baby at a cinema, during the best part of the movie when you're trying to pay attention and it's getting all dramatic, but that stupid baby won't stop crying and you wish child murder wasn't illegal so you could throw that damn thing out the window!

"Why would he be going to court?" someone asked.

"HE KILLED A LADYBUG!" Chara yelled. Everyone gasped in horror.

Two minutes later

"Hear ye, hear ye!" the judge yelled. "I don't know if people actually say that in court but whatever! Today we will be holding a trial over this young man, who stepped on a ladybug!" She pointed her mallet at Eren, who was sitting in the spotlight. Screams of fury erupted from all around him.

"It was an accident, I swear!" Eren begged, falling to his knees. "I was just enjoying life when a little ladybug flew underneath my shoe without my knowledge, then I brought my foot down and…"

Half of the audience began crying over the death of the random ladybug while the other half continued yelling curses at the annoying protagonist.

"Shut up!" the judge yelled, banging her mallet thingy on her desk or whatever. She glared at Eren. "And why did you bring your foot down?"

"I was making a tribute to the statement, 'putting your foot down'!" Eren argued.

The audience booed.

"But why at that exact moment?" Sasha the potato girl asked, who was the opposition or whatever it's called. "That's pretty convenient, right?"

The audience screamed in agreement.

Eren began sobbing again. "I didn't know the ladybug was there! Not until I saw a patch of weird stuff on the ground and realised I'd stepped on it!"

The audience was so loud even the Titans were annoyed.

"SHUT THE CRAP UP!" the judge yelled. "YOU GUYS ARE GIVING ME A DAMN HEADACHE, AND I ALREADY HAD LIKE TEN TODAY FROM WHEN I WAS AT THE CINEMA WITH A BUNCH OF BABIES AND I WAS TRYING TO WATCH A MOVIE!"

The audience began laughing.

"IT'S NOT FUNNY!" the judge screamed. "YOU ALL TRY SITTING IN A CINEMA WITH A BUNCH OF JUVENILE HUMANS!" She sighed. "Okay, back to the topic. Eron Yeeter-"

"Eren Yeager." Eren corrected.

"I don't give a damn," the judge snapped. "So, Eris Farter, while I did think you indeed killed that ladybug on purpose since your story is downright stupid, I can't really accuse you of anything until you have a witness. So.." She looked up. "Any witnesses?"

A Titan suddenly pulled the roof off. It was the tomato titan!

"I was a witness!" it said. "He definitely stepped on the ladybug on purpose!"

Everyone gasped.

"For this…" the judge glared at Eren. "You will be sentenced to execution… by being tickled by feathers!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Eren screamed. "ANYTHING BUT THAT!"

The audience screamed about justice and other junk for like half an hour.

"Oh wait, one more thing!" the Titan said. "I'm gonna kill you all now!"

And so, the war against the Titans started again, pissing everyone off.


	8. Eren hits on Chara (for reals)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ughhh I wanna commit a dying
> 
> Glad you guys really love this fanfic because IDK what I'm doing lol
> 
> P.S watch Attack On Titan IN 9 MINUTES, it's great

In the year 8dnnejnguog or whatever it was, something terrible happened. Two Titans appeared and messed everything up:

The Tomato Titan, or the Colossal Titan, and the other Titan, aka the Armoured Titan. But that actually wasn't the worst thing that appeared.

Some child who was supposed to be dead also showed up. They were from some video game called Undahtayeet or something. And THEIR NAME WAS JOHN CE-

Chara, their name was Chara.

Chara was here because… the internet sucks. They wanted to leave, but that came with a price. What price, you may ask. 1,000 bucks?

No, idiot! Chara's hella broke. They needed to kill every single Titan in existence and not let anyone die with the help of 21 resets (well, now 18) and three accomplices. Could they do it? I don't think so. Chara has knife skills but come on, they're not that talented.

But maybe, with perhaps, the power of anime, they could.

And that's what they were trying to do right now!

The Tomato Titan, Colossal, whatever you call it, was standing above the ridiculous androgynous child and their… friends, I guess, as they just finished possibly the most pathetic excuse of a court case in history (and probably future).

Chara glared at the Titan.

"Your momma so ugly, you're the reason prunes are wrinkled!" they said.

"BURN!" screamed the crew. Y'know, Eren and all that.

"Seriously?" Tomato asked. "That was pretty lame."

"If that burn was lame then you're the god of boring!" Chara replied. The audience screamed again.

Tomato rolled its eyes. "Call in the squad!"

A bunch of other Titans appeared.

Chara looked pissed. "I'll CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED you all until you CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED and fart and then CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED kiss my CENSORED!"

"That was some pretty harsh language you used there," Tomato commented. "You'll make the kids cry."

"I MAKE THE KIDS CRY ANYWAY!" Chara retorted, jumping up towards Tomato. He moonwalked out of their way, leaving them to deal with the Titans.

"YOU ARE ALL MY PUNCHING BAGS!" Chara screamed. "PREPARE TO DIE A PAINFUL AND SAD DEATH THINKING ABOUT A CUTE ANTHROPOMORPHIC GOAT CHILD!"

Suddenly, out of nowhere, an atomic bomb appeared and blew everyone up. The end!

Just kidding, though that would've made a far nicer ending than the real ending…

Chara sliced up a few Titans like they were some kind of knife machine. Everyone was pretty impressed, except for some people who said Chara was OP.

Then the birds from a previous chapter returned.

"NO!" Chara screamed. "I'LL FLAY YOU FOOLISH BIRDS ALIVE AND SELL YOU TO KFC!"

Too bad, they carried Chara away again.

"Chara can't be killed by Titans but they can be killed by seagulls," Mikasa rolled her eyes. "Dear God, this fanfiction is the stupidest thing on the planet."

RESETS: 4

RESETS LEFT: 17

"I will kill all birds as well as Titans." Chara said, climbing out from underneath someone's bed. That person screamed and passed out. Chara stole their secret stash of donuts and left. People saw them with the donuts and realised that the Titans were coming. You see, back then, donuts were evil. Don't ask how or why, they just were. I mean, the Ancient Egyptians thought cats were special or something sooooo

"DONUT KING WILL KILL US ALL!" civilians screamed, running for their life. Apparently Donut King was more scary than the Titans, but nothing really makes sense in this fanfiction.

"That's what I've been saying." Mikasa sighed. Wait, where did she come from?

"Out of my way, fiends!" Chara pushed past all of their comrades. "I've got this!"

Chara took out a gun they got from somewhere and began firing at the Titans, COD style. They pulled out explosives as well… where the Hell did they get all these freaking weapons from?

"I'll MURDER you all!" they roared. They, like in the intro of Dora the Explorer, swung off the ginormous wall to kill the Titans.

But then Eren jumped onto their back.

"Eren!" Chara screamed. "What the CENSORED?! It looks like you are attempting to make love with me!"

"I'm not!" Eren said, blushing deeply. "Even though I think you're kinda hot!"

"I am already engaged," Chara snapped. "With myself. And potentially Buddy from Lisa. But that does not matter right now! Get off me!"

"No way!" Eren screamed. "I'm killing the Titans! This is MY show!"

"All you do is have temper tantrums!" Chara argued.

"SO DO YOU!" Eren yelled back. The two idiots realised they were falling to their death. Eren screamed like a little girl. Chara called the universe a bunch of very rude names that even the Titans flinched.

They kept falling….

And we now interrupt your fanfiction to bring you a scene with some important-looking dudes playing chess!

I don't know why important-looking people (villains) are always playing chess, is it some sort of ritual?

So they talked about some stuff… blah blah…

We interrupt your interruption to bring you some Titan exposition!

"So, Titans have a weakness," Chara said. They frowned. "I did not know such a thing was possible."

"They do," this dude said. "Back of their neck."

"I knew that," Chara said. "I watched this anime."

"Then why are you even here?" the guy asked.

Chara frowned. "I got interrupted from another scene that was causing an interruption from the original interrupted scene."

…

Back to the main show, or whatever…

Chara and Eren were falling down.

"I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR ANNOYING EXISTENCE, EREN!" Chara screamed. "BUT I DO CARE ABOUT GOING HOME!"

"B-baka?" Eren blushed.

Chara grabbed Eren while slicing and dicing a bunch of Titans, like it was a cooking show.

"You all are gay!" Chara yelled, making the Titans cry for Momma.

"SAVAGE!" Eren screamed.

"SHUT UP!" Chara yelled.

Suddenly, a Titan grabbed Eren.

"Chara, babe!" he screamed.

Chara was so insulted by that name they said, "He's all yours, Titan! His existence annoys me so much I don't even care about losing a reset. I want a break from his pathetic, obtuse, dialect and mannerisms."

"But Chara…" Eren wiped his eyes. "I love you!"

"Why?" Chara asked. "I sued you last chapter!"

"That made me realise the truth," Eren said. "The way you sued me… the passion in your voice… the way you insult everyone and act like a total jerk… I knew you were the one!"

Chara wanted to pull their own eyes out.

"Please," they begged the Titans. "Eat him. Take him away from me. I will be eternally grateful."

"Chara!" Eren screamed, as a Titan ate him. "I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU!"

Everyone gasped… in relief. Eren was finally gone. Chara slumped over in relaxation.

"Thank the gods," they said. "I needed a break from that fool."

What they weren't expecting was… well, you'll see next chapter, or you'll already know…


	9. Everyone is depressed

Previously on the world's worst fanfic…

"Chara!" Eren screamed, as a Titan ate him. "I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU!"

Everyone gasped… in relief. Eren was finally gone. Chara slumped over in relaxation.

"Thank the gods," they said. "I needed a break from that fool."

What they weren't expecting was… well, you'll see next chapter, or you'll already know…

Well, since it is now the next chapter (which Chara was not very happy about, mind you), things were changing. Oh wait, we've gotta play the intro first.

Play the literal version by akidearest

Since the author is too lazy to type down the lyrics, we'll just skip to the episode and all that.

Everyone was having a party because Eren died. Chara was hosting it of course. They were hanging out with Mikasa and Armin, both of which they were refusing to acknowledge as their friends. Chara insisted they had no friends, which sounds pretty lame. But anyway.

It turns out no one had much food or music, considering it was the year -12947 or whatever, so the party wasn't that interesting. Chara just ate their chocolate in secret, and hissed at anyone who dared approach them.

Then the stupid genie showed up.

"Oh shush, you rude author!" they said. They found Chara hiding underneath a table, nibbling on chocolate like it was their will to live, which it probably was. "Hey there, you antisocial dweeb. Can I have some chocolate?"

"No," Chara snapped. "Get lost before I do something very unpleasant towards you."

"Like what?" the genie asked. "A fart?"

"Why are you even here?" Chara ignored its question.

"I dunno," the genie said. "I think I was supposed to say something important… but I forgot what."

"You want me to reset, do you not?" Chara asked, annoyed.

"That's right!" the genie snapped its fingers, causing some random person's hair to turn into flowers. "Well, what I mean is, there's good news and bad news. The good news is you don't have to reset. The bad news is…" It paused. "Well, you'll see soon enough."

"Helpful." Chara grunted.

"I know, right?" the genie chuckled. "I'm super duper helpful!" They slapped Chara's so hard the child screamed bloody murder. "Anyway, I gotta go now. This party is draining my will to live. By the way, that chocolate was good, but peanut brittle is better." It disappeared.

Chara frowned. They checked their pocket, and realised that their chocolate was gone. They screamed and cursed and gave everyone a headache.

"Gods, today I feel angsty…" Mikasa grumbled.

"I always feel angsty." Chara replied.

"I know," Mikasa said. "I just… feel like talking about my backstory."

"Is this the bad news that genie aforementioned?" Chara asked.

"Say what?" Mikasa scowled.

"Whatever," Chara said. "I think the Titans are back."

Speak of the devils, and suddenly a bunch of Titans showed up.

"Great," Chara sighed. "I am not in the mood for this."

"Your chocolate got stolen." said some random person that appeared out of nowhere.

Chara was suddenly full of rage.

"THOSE TITANS WILL ALL PERISH IN THE FIRES OF HELL, AND THEN I WILL REVIVE THEM JUST SO I CAN KILL THEM ALL AGAIN!" they screamed, jumping out of the window and karate-chopping a bunch of Titans. They caused a lot of destruction along the way, such as blowing up two buildings, almost killing half the population, and somehow going super saiyan, even though it was the wrong anime.

Also, some random guy committed suicide. Yayyyy

"GUYS I'M DEPRESSED!" Armin screamed, running around.

"HI DEPRESSED, I'M MIKASA!" Mikasa screamed back. "OH, AND WELCOME TO THE CLUB!"

"All the Titans should be dead now," Chara said, folding their arms. Yes, they did just appear out of nowhere. That happens a lot in this abomination of writing. "Now I can go home, hopefully."

Unfortunately, Chara couldn't go home because there was another Titan. And the series isn't finished yet.

"Seriously?!" Chara cursed in 20 different languages.

"Just kill the stupid Titan, you killed like forty others," Mikasa said. "I'd do it myself, but I can't get over my angsty depression."

Chara was about to do just that, but for some random, stupid and plain ridiculous reason, the thing everyone was standing on exploded and everyone died.

The end!

…

I wish. :(

Well, it did explode, but no one actually died. Mikasa landed in some edgy alleyway with street dogs and creepy homeless guys trying to sell candy.

"Hey kid, want some candy?" one of the guys asked Mikasa. Mikasa kicked him where the sun doesn't shine because that candy was the fakest looking thing she'd seen since Eren's hairdo.

Suddenly, the Titan ran over to her, looking like it wanted her to die. Since she was feeling all depressed, she didn't fight back.

Then ANOTHER different Titan showed up and beat the crap out of the first Titan.

"What the-" Chara cursed in another twenty languages. They had landed in someone's shower… while they were showering. It was just as awkward as you can imagine.

Chara was suddenly almost as angry as they were when they got their chocolate stolen. Why? Because…

It turns out…

That…

…

…

…

The…

TITAN THAT ATTACKED THE OTHER TITAN IS ACTUALLY EREN AND WE ALL SAW IT COMING BECAUSE HE'S THE PROTAGONIST AND PROTAGONISTS DON'T DIE LIKE EVER SO NOT THAT SHOCKING BUT WE'VE GOT TO PRETEND IT'S LIKE A STUNNING PLOT TWIST BECAUSE OH NO DEATH HE GOT SWALLOWED BLAH BLAH BLAH

POTATO


	10. Mikasa's secret revealed?! Not clickbait!!

In the year 850 or whatever, things increasingly sucked for our 'wonderful' and 'heroic' protagonist. (Idk why we keep going over this. Come on man! Y'all should know the backstory by now, right? Why has anime gotta be like this, constantly going over the story even though we've heard it 40 million times beforehand...)

They kinda sucked at killing Titans, and sucked even more at being friends with others. Not that Chara was interested in that, but still, perhaps it would make this fanfic even slightly more tolerable if there was actual character interaction. And friendship. Who knows, even romance might happen!

Anyway, so some stupid stuff happened, as you know, and Eren died. Everyone was celebrating, but suddenly, he returned… as a Titan!

Wow, no one saw that coming! It's not as if he's a really important character or anything!

Chara, meanwhile, was questioning how much the world really hated them.

"Chara!" Eren the Titan bellowed. "Marry me!"

Chara flipped him off. They were immediately arrested by the censor board.

Meanwhile, Eren the Titan collapsed, turning back into Eren the human. The 'Eren is finally gone' party scrambled away angrily, all yelling curse words and insults that caused the censor board to commit suicide.

"You guys really hate me this much…?" Eren asked, staring at the remains of the party. He cried tears of joy. "I always wanted to be popular!"

"GO TO SLEEP EREN!" someone screamed. And then they slapped Eren until he fell asleep. And then the party continued. And then there was a linebreak.

...

Chara frowned. Prison sucked. It still existed even though the entire censor board had just committed suicide. Chara was so hopelessly bored they were beginning to count the atoms in the walls. Which is physically possible. Deal with it.

Oh well. It was either this or deal with that imbecile, Eren.

Anyway, Chara had just reached the number 95835783570830855758738578357385 when the wall burst open. Chara looked up, and saw Mikasa standing there, holding out her sword.

"What is the meaning of this?" Chara demanded.

"Um, I'm saving you?" Mikasa asked, tilting her head. "Unless you'd rather stay here and keep counting atoms."

"I'll go, as long as I am not bothered by that fool Eren," Chara said. They made a face. "Also, how did you know I was counting atoms?"

"It says so on the first line below the linebreak." Mikasa replied.

"I see," Chara sighed. "Anyway, do tell me. Where is that idiot Eren?"

"In a coma," Mikasa said. "Some random unidentified person slapped him to sleep."

"That person is my hero," Chara said. "Any other news?"

"Yep," Mikasa said. "Titans are trying to kill us."

"I knew that." Chara rolled their eyes. "Anything else?"

"Um…" Mikasa looked thoughtful. "You should probably keep killing Titans so you don't have to reset."

"Wonderful," Chara facepalmed into the ground. "Nothing has changed."

"Welcome to Hell!" Mikasa grinned.

Chara laughed. "This is not Hell. Hell would be far more pleasant."

"Hey guys!" Suddenly, Armin appeared out of nowhere! Wow! "I've got a great idea! Let's use Titan Eren to kill all the Titans! Since he's part of our team, he should be allowed to do that! And he may die in the process, which I'm sure the rules will accept because no one likes him anyway!"

"Very intelligent idea…" Chara mused. "I must say I like your way of thinking, Armin."

"Really?" Armin asked.

"No, you're dead to me," Chara scowled. "But you are better than Eren. Though that's not really a compliment since even that old boot over there is better than Eren."

The old boot (somehow) smiled in appreciation.

"Actually," Chara made a face. "That old boot is by far better than anyone in this stupid fanfiction. It doesn't annoy me to tears."

"Hey." Mikasa folded her arms. "I saved your life."

"I hate my life!" Chara screamed.

"Don't scream!" Mikasa covered her ears. "I've already got a migraine from Armin's hentai rants!"

Armin turned so red every beetroot in existence was fired. Chara kind of just stared at him.

"... well…" they said. "The tension in here is so thicc the Kardashians are jealous."

"Let's stop comparing things," Mikasa sighed. "It's about time you started killing Titans again."

Chara frowned. "Because that's exactly what I wanted to continue."

It's time FOR A LINEBREAAKKKK

...

Eren the Titan was fighting other Titans. He was winning but also losing.

"I hate that idiot." Chara growled. They were eating chocolate covered popcorn. No idea where they got it from. Don't ask.

"He's doing a lot of work for you," Mikasa pointed out.

"Why are you defending him?" Chara asked. "You should know the theme of this stupid fanfiction is that nobody likes Eren."

"... well…" Mikasa blushed. "The thing is…"

"What?" Chara asked. "Spit it out, girl!"

"Um, we'd better kill some Titans!" Mikasa ran off.

"Hey!" Chara called out. They rolled their eyes. "Stupid humans."

"The thing is, Chara…" Armin grabbed their shoulder. "A long time ago…. Eren gave Mikasa a jar of Nutella… and then they made out in a really R rated scene despite being minors."

"Okay?!" Chara asked.

"And now," Armin said. "Everything is going to explode for no reason."

And the whole freaking universe exploded for no reason.


	11. Chara gets kidnapped

Just kidding! I'm not that nice.

… so, um, where we were? Oh right, Eren and Mikasa making out over Nutella.

Chara didn't really want to be reminded of that. Can you blame them? They wished the universe actually had exploded. Instead it was just some random exploding whoopee cushion that exists for some reason.

Very anticlimactic.

The child (or whatever they're supposed to be) wouldn't admit it but they kind of thought Mikasa was… slightly better than everyone else. And now they were betrayed. All over Nutella! What a cruel and sinful world our poor and bratty protagonist is forced to endure! Oh how they are such a wiener and have to suck up all this crap-

"I can hear you," Chara said, interrupting the talented and sexy author. They were holding… a flamethrower?! Where the Hell did they get that from?!

HOLY CRAP YOU DEMON GET AWAY FROM ME I'M TOO TRASH TO DIE! AHH-

Technical difficulties. Please stand by.

…

…

…?!

… B-Baka! Stop reading this cancer! I'm not blushing! You are!

"EREN!"

Oh wait, back to the show.

So. A lot of people thought Eren was bad news. A lot of people hated him because he never shut up and screamed all the time. A lot of people were deaf. Press F to pay respects. Eren missed Chara, and Mikasa was eating Nutella. I dunno what Armin was doing, probably your mom. ;)

Chara had realised their mistake in harassing the wonderful, divine, caring, incredible, sexy, glamours, beautiful-

"WE GET IT MOVE ON!" yelled a background pony. Yes, I did say pony. Some of you will know why.

ANYWAY. Chara realised their mistake in harassing the author and left them alone. No more flamethrowers. Or technical difficulties. Those are quite a pain. Although it does allow me to be lazy. Ha ha ha.

Back to the story!

"I can't believe you," Chara glared at Mikasa.

Mikasa burst into tears. "I'm sorry, it's just… Nutella is so irresistible…"

Chara sighed. "Girl, there are some things you need to get straight, but your sexuality isn't one of them."

Mikasa blushed bright red.

"Hey guys!" Armin ran up to the two with a bunch of annoying background characters. "Guess what!"

"The universe is going to explode for real this time?" Chara asked, hopefully.

"Nope!" Armin said cheerfully. "But it's almost just as good!" He clapped his hands. "Eren is being sentenced to death!"

"Now that," Chara smiled. "Is news I like to hear."

"But first," Armin said. "You need to become friends with these guys!" He pointed to the background characters. "Some of them you already met, but you need to see them again! Because why not!"

"Now that," Chara frowned. "Is news I dislike to hear."

Two hours of face-palming later

Chara walked up to a happy guy. "Who are you?"

"I'm Marco!" He screamed. "I'm gonna die!"

"Aren't we all," Chara muttered. They pointed to their next victim. "Why should I waste my time on your existence?"

"You shouldn't," he replied. "But I'm Jean."

"Die!" Chara replied politely. They looked at some more people. "Some of you look psychotic. Who are you and why do you exist?"

"I'm horny for Titans!" this crazy lady wearing glasses giggled. Zoe, right?

"I kicked Eren in the nuts," another girl, Annie, said. "I'm also secretly a Titan."

"We're super gay!" said this one girl named Ymir, hanging out with another girl called Krista.

"I'm Connie!" a guy said. "No one cares about me!"

"We're secretly Titans," Reiner and some other weird guy said. "We're the ones that ruined the start of the series."

"Anyone else?" Chara asked, bored.

"SPAGHETTI!" Papyrus screamed, before disappearing.

"LEVI!?" the fangirls screamed.

But nobody came. Spooooookkkyyyyy

"That was a waste of time," Chara said. "Is Eren dead yet?"

Suddenly everyone looked scared.

"Why are you all looking at me like Eren is standing behind me?" Chara asked, raising their brow. A shadow appeared over their head.

It was… Eren in Titan form!

Dun dun dun!

"Ummmm?" Chara asked. "What's the meaning of this?"

"Chara!" Eren screamed. "Do me like Armin did my mom!"

Armin blushed. "Did you have to say that out loud?"

"No way in Hell!" Chara screamed at Eren. "Besides, you're way too big right now!"

"Well then you're coming with me!" Eren declared. He suddenly picked Chara up. Everyone gasped and all that.

"Release me you overrated anime protagonist!" Chara screamed.

But of course Eren ignored them and ran away, carrying them. Chara cried out for help. They would rather die than be in this situation.

And that's the end of the chapter HA HA HAHA


	12. Chara's chocolate problem

PREVIOUSLY ON THE LAST CHAPTER…

"Chara!" Eren screamed. "Do me like Armin did my mom!"

Armin blushed. "Did you have to say that out loud?"

"No way in Hell!" Chara screamed at Eren. "Besides, you're way too big right now!"

"Well then you're coming with me!" Eren declared. He suddenly picked Chara up. Everyone gasped and all that.

"Release me you overrated anime protagonist!" Chara screamed.

But of course Eren ignored them and ran away, carrying them. Chara cried out for help. They would rather die than be in this situation.

AND NOW…

THE INTRO!

KFIGHRGRGSGRGHSJGRHSGSR

TITANS

FIGIHSUGSRHGSRGHSGUSRG

EVERYONE'S DEAD

EIHAEIGUHAGUAGFUfhwifhwFHwfiWFIHGI

THE END

Chara began cursing in a multitude of different languages. If I were to write much of what they said here in English, I'd be banned from this website. As much as I bet you would like to see that happen, I have ten kids to feed and writing fanfiction is my only euphoria thank you very much-

"WHY ARE YOU KIDNAPPING ME YOU OVERGROWN LITTLE-" Chara asked, their last few words being censored.

"Because I loooooveeeee you!" Eren told Chara. "And I want to make babies!"

"The only thing you're going to make is PAIN!" Chara yelled, bringing out their knife. They cut Eren's hand. He yelped and released them. Chara scaled down his titan body using his knife.

"You're a Titan too," they said. "So I can finally freaking kill you without having to reset!"

"BUT I LOVE YOU!" Eren cried.

"I DON'T CARE! I HATE YOU!" Chara screamed. "WHY DON'T YOU GET THAT YOU *FLIPPING DINGUS?!"

*Please note: they said something much more offensive here, but I think you know why I removed it

Eren sobbed. Chara sighed.

"You know what?" they said. "Just give me some chocolate, and I will spare your life."

"Really?" Eren asked, his creepy Titan eyes lighting up.

"Yep," Chara said. "I'm not even feeling nice, and there you go. Practically a 'get out of jail free' card."

"Okay!" Eren screamed, grinning creepily. "But will you love me if I give you chocolate?"

"No, but I will tolerate your existence," Chara said. They scowled. "Don't translate that as 'friendship'. It's not even close to that."

"What about if I give you chocolate, Nutella, and my mom's special chocolate donuts that people literally die for?"

"Hmm… I will tolerate your existence in a more… positive way."

"What about if I give you all the above and every other chocolate I can find?"

Chara smiled. "Then you can be my slave."

Chara and Eren (he was human again) returned back to wherever, where everyone was doing normal stuff like fighting Titans, or complaining about life.

"Hey, you're back," Mikasa said. "So you missed some political stuff."

"Thank the chocolate gods," Chara sighed, in relief.

"But now everyone wants Eren to seal a hole." Armin added, crawling out of a bush.

"What were you doing in there?" Chara asked him.

Armin blushed. "Nothing!"

Everyone immediately went all suspicious.

"Anywayyyy," said Mikasa. "Eren, you need to seal a hole."

"YES!" the government agreed, popping out of nowhere. "SEAL A HOLE IN THE WALL SO THOSE DARN TITANS CAN'T GET IN!"

"How will I do that?" Eren asked.

"BY PUTTING A ROCK IN IT, DUH!" the government replied.

"Where will I find a rock?" Eren asked.

Suddenly, Dwayne Johnson appeared!

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" everyone said.

Two minutes later

"Here you go," said one of the government guys, pointing at a huge boulder. "Carry that big boy into the hole."

"First of all, that's a boulder, not a rock," Eren said. "Secondly, it's a female."

No one responded to that.

"Why can we not just explode all the Titans?" Chara asked. "I mean, well, I could kill them, with my defined skills as a martial artist."

"Nah, I like sexy girl rocks." the government guy said.

Chara face-palmed.

"Okayyyyy," Eren said. "I suppose I can do that. Not like I've got anything better to do. Aside from making out with my beloved here." He tried to kiss Chara.

"We are not in a relationship!" they pushed him away angrily. "You just do whatever I want, okay?"

Eren sighed, tears in his eyes. "Of course. Anything for you, my beloved flame of mega sexiness."

Chara rolled their eyes. "Just put the rock in the hole or whatever."

"Okay!" Eren yelled. He suddenly turned into a Titan.

"NOT NOW YOU IMBECILE!" Chara snapped. "I MEANT NEXT CHAPTER!"

"This is why we should've killed him," someone muttered. Chara had to agree.

Eren turned back into a human. He stared lovingly at Chara, who just gave him the finger.

"You deserve better," Mikasa said.

"Me?" Eren asked.

"No, Chara."

"Quite…" Chara sighed. Eren pouted.

Awkward….

"Just finish the chapter already." Chara groaned.

The end


	13. Eren seals a hole

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's funny is if you google 'Attack on Titan episode 11' it pretty much says 'Eren seals a hole'. You gotta love it lmao

I'm not going to do the last time thing this chapter because… I'm lazy.

After the intro which I'm also skipping, Eren lifted the boulder above his head. Why? Because Eren was sealing a hole or something. We're not even remotely paying attention to the story anymore, let's face it.

"I hope it falls and breaks his spine." said everyone, which isn't a very nice thing to say. But it's Eren so… who cares.

"Well, at least there will be less Titans to kill, hm?" Chara sighed. "Which is slightly unfortunate, since some of those Titans were more pleasant than the human characters."

"I thought you liked me." Mikasa said.

"I do- I mean- I don't- I mean-" Chara started blushing and rolling over the floor… for some reason.

"Ooooooooooooooooh" said everyone.

"Shut up!" Chara screamed. "That's stupid!"

Everyone kept staring at them.

"Please, I'm begging you, take us to another scene." Chara begged.

The author was feeling generous and decided to grant their request. We now make our way over to Eren, who was still lifting that giant Dwayne Johnson. He kept thinking about Chara in a sensual way. A bit too sensual to share.

There were also still Titans hanging around, they were probably bored or something. They all watched Eren going to seal a hole with the giant Dwayne Johnson.

"Hey!" the rock said. "My name is actually Juliet and I'm a girl!"

"You can talk?!" Eren asked the rock.

"Yeah, so can you," Juliet replied. "You can't talk in Titan form in the real show. Anyway, I can hear you talking about that weirdo who never stops blushing."

"Oh my beloved Chara," Eren wiped away tears… somehow. "How hot they are."

"They're like ten, you know that?" Juliet asked. "And you're pretty much double their age."

"Shut up, love has no boundaries!" Eren cried dramatically.

"Whatever you say, pedo." Juliet scoffed.

"Are you trying to give me sass?" Eren asked the rock. "You're a rock!"

"And you're an idiot." Juliet replied.

"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" said the crowd.

"Yeah, well, at least I have legs!" Eren growled.

"And at least I have a brain." Juliet retorted.

"BURNNNNN!" the crowd screamed.

"I can't believe I'm arguing with a freaking rock." Eren muttered.

"I can't believe I'm arguing with a freaking idiot." Juliet said.

"DAMMMNNNNNMN!" the crowd bellowed.

"Cool it with the salt," someone said. "You're making the ocean jealous."

"Honey that's my job." Juliet replied, putting on sunglasses… somehow. The audience screamed.

"I hope if I put you in that hole you'll shut up." Eren muttered.

"What hole? Your butt hole?" Juliet asked.

Eren sighed. He really wished he could slam dunk this rock like a Super Bowl champion, but then the Titans might kill his beloved Chara… and, um, the entire population, he guessed.

Eventually Eren got to the hole and put the whining rock-ette in it. The audience half-heartedly clapped.

"You douchebags!" Eren snapped. "You all try carrying a heavy living rock that keeps roasting you! I can't believe you'd CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED!" And he continued to swear for a really long time.

"Whoa, bro," Juliet said. "There might be children reading."

And Eren jumped off a bridge.

"You're a terrible military," Chara told the army. "You know that, right?"

"Half this show is about military." Mikasa said.

Chara sighed. "End me."

Mikasa held up a gun.

"I was over exaggerating!" Chara screamed. "I didn't mean actually-"

"No," Mikasa said. "I was going to use it on myself."

"Why?" Chara asked.

"Because Eren's back." Mikasa replied.

"Give me that!" Chara said, reaching for the gun as Eren approached.

"My love," He said. "I've returned!" He looked at Chara holding a gun. "Why are you holding that?"

"You answered your own question merely a moment ago." Chara grunted.

"I sealed the wall, by the way." Eren bowed for no reason.

"I know," Chara said. "I read the chapter title."

"Whooooaaaaaaaa!" Eren gasped, like that was the most amazing thing he'd ever heard.

Chara just rolled their eyes. "Yes, I know, incredible. You imbecile."

"Oh yes daddy, I'm your imbecile." Eren giggled.

Chara held the gun to their head again. "I hate my life. I don't even care about resets at the moment. I just want to go home."

Then they started crying.

"Chara-" Eren began, but they ran away angrily.

"Gods," Mikasa sighed. "What a brat." And then she jumped off a bridge.


	14. The Quest Begins

"This Struggle for Trost thing is still going?" Chara asked. "These things aren't meant to go on for 8 episodes! Why not call the show 'The Struggle for Trost'?"

"Attack On Titan sounds better." Mikasa said.

"It isn't even grammatically correct!" Chara whined. "It should be 'Attack on Titans'!" They banged their head against a wall repeatedly. Everyone watched them for about twenty minutes.

"Is anyone gonna talk about the Homestuck reference in the title...?" a random background character asked.

"No, that's gae." someone responded.

"So, uh, what now?" Chara asked, after about twenty awkward minutes.

"I think we fight more Titans," Mikasa said. "After the intro, of course."

THREE HOURS OF KANJI AND SCREAMING LATER

"So, we fight Titans now?" Chara said.

"Yep." Mikasa replied. "Something about… I don't know, distracting them? And another thing about politics."

"Oh, great," Chara sighed. "I hate politics."

Everyone began fighting the Titans and all that. It was super gruesome. For the Titans, I mean. Chara was kind of good at this killing thing. Of course that's not creepy. Stop it. It's not. SENPAI STOOPPPP

"YAHHHH!" Chara screamed, killing some Titans in a really epic fashion. Everyone watched them in awe because apparently they're a Mary Sue.

"Guys, that's creepy," Chara said to the audience, after a while. "Stop."

Everyone kept staring anyway because they're all pervs. Chara face-palmed.

"Idiots, all of you." they said. Suddenly they were grabbed by a Titan! Except it was blue!

"Are you an avatar?" Chara asked it.

"No, I'm the genie from Aladdin!" the Titan I mean avatar I mean genie replied. "I'm not sure why the stupid author didn't point that out."

The author threw tomatoes at everyone.

"This is not meant to be a Disney crossover," Chara said. "Why are you here?"

"No clue," the genie said. "But I'll grant you three wishes."

"Great," Chara said. "First of all, get me out of this vacuous universe and back to my own."

"Okay." said the genie, and Chara went home. The end.

Just kidding!

"Lol noob I can't do that," the genie actually said. "That would be cheating."

"How about killing all the Titans?" Chara asked.

"Also cheating."

"Eren's boxers be damned! What is not considered cheating?"

"This!" the genie screamed. He threw Chara really far away.

"BRO WHY!" Chara cried. They landed in the world of dank memes and were overloaded with dankness, so they died.

RESETS: 4

RESETS LEFT: 17

"That was dumb." Chara said, as they climbed out of… somewhere. I can't think of anything funny for them to clamber out of, my apologies, folks.

"I think that was somehow worse than the death with the birds." Mikasa commented.

"Somehow, I agree with that sentiment." Chara said sadly. They paused. "Truthfully, the Titans are not the real threat here. It is the nonsensical things that keep magically appearing and bringing forth my demise."

"Perhaps… that's the real danger," Mikasa said. "The memes. They are the ones that are the reason we all keep referring to ourselves as livestock and other weird analogies you'd only see in anime."

"Hmmm, what about this potential conclusion?" Chara asked. "The Titans are working together with the Memelord to kill us all."

"Wow, that's a logical conclusion!" Eren screamed. Since Eren agreed with it, literally everyone else thought it was a terrible idea and told Chara to go jump off a bridge.

"We did that all last chapter, idiots," Chara snapped. "And hey, I could be right. This story is so messed up, I don't believe there's any other solution."

"Oh, my love!" Eren screamed, tears coming out of his eyes. "They're so wise!"

Chara did everyone a favour and knocked Eren out.

"Think about it," they said. "Why else is this story so stupid? Either whoever is writing this is high 24/7, we're all being trolled by the Memelord who is collaborating with the Titans, whoever is writing this is high 24/7, or did I mention whoever is writing this needs to get a life?"

Everyone was in deep thought for a moment.

"They have a point," Mikasa said. "The Memelord is probably messing with us."

Everyone thought Mikasa was really cool and smart (which she is, Mikasa senpai aieee wait why am I telling you this) and immediately agreed.

"Then we must go on a quest to find this Memelord!" Chara boomed. "I will go so I can slap some sense into them and make them return me home. Anyone else coming? And hurry up, we need to form the team before Eren wakes up."

"I'll go." Mikasa said.

"I'll come!" Armin said as well. "I'm a main character, right?"

"No," Chara said. "I am."

Armin frowned.

"I'm secretly a Titan," Annie said. "Oh, I'll go as well. Because, um, women power, I guess?"

"I'll come." said this dude, named Levi. A billion fangirls started screaming in the background.

"What's with all the screaming?" Chara asked.

"Ignore that." Levi said quickly.

"Anyone else?" Chara asked.

"I'LL COME!" said a voice. It belonged to… Papyrus from Undertale?

"How are you here?!" Chara asked with wide eyes.

"I AM ALWAYS HERE, LITTLE HUMAN!" Papyrus bellowed. "WOULD YOU LIKE SOME SPAGHETTI?!"

"NO," Chara bellowed back. "Anyone else?"

"I'm a cute girl!" said a girl called Petra. "I'll come as well!"

"Are we done yet?" Chara asked, eager to go.

Suddenly, Eren woke up.

"EVERYBODY RUN!" Chara screamed. The quest-goers began getting the Hell out of there, Deja Vu playing in the background.

"What's going on?" Eren asked. He saw Chara, his friends, a skeleton screaming about spaghetti, and for some reason, a horde of screaming Levi fangirls, all running away from him.

"CHARA MY LOVE!" Eren wept. "COME BACK!"

He chased after the quest-goers. He caught up to them when the Levi fangirls grabbed Levi and tried to make him kiss their butts.

"Chara!" Eren screamed. "Where are you going?"

"On a quest that you are not allowed to come on." Chara snapped.

"Why not?"

"Because you suck!"

Eren began crying. It was so sad Alexa play-

"Let's just go," Chara grumbled, saving Levi from the crazy fangirls and their pages of inappropriate fanfiction. Then Eren grabbed onto their leg.

"Get off me!" Chara tried to get him off with little success.

"Never!" Eren cried. "I'm going with you whether you like it or not!"

"NO!" Chara yelled, and they started wrestling Eren.

Spongebob Narrator: Five minutes later

"FINE!" Chara screamed, covered in strawberry jam for an unknown reason. "YOU CAN COME!"

"YAYYY!" Eren danced around like the fool he is.

Chara sighed. They wanted to die so bad.


	15. The Homestuck joke was a lie

And lo, the magical journey begun. The group went on their magical journey to find the Memelord.

"I'm hungry," Erin whined. "Let us stop to feed, my hot sexy mega ball of raspberry sprinkles."

"I don't care," Chara snapped. "Also, that sounds like you're making us to be parasites or something. Which we are, sucking away the life of this website…"

"We have to play the intro," Levi said randomly.

"Seriously?" Chara asked. "This fanfiction is about to become completely unrelated to the original plot, and we still have to play the intro?"

"Yep," Levi said. "It's better than hearing the screams of fangirls, though. Or Titans."

"I suppose." Chara said.

And now for the intro!

JDWINFNBAGEGUgbFEgbUGBejEBGEugEGEngeagEUOGBg

The end.

"Oh thank goodness that's over," Chara said. "Now we can finally-"

And now, a message from our sponsors!

"Are you serious?" Chara asked.

Are you tired of Titans breaking into your house while you're having a shower? Are you embarrassed and humiliated to be buck naked before you die? Well have we got the perfect solution for you, you poor sod!

Introducing: clothing!

Clothing is so easy to use, and so easy to wear! Just put it on, and wow, suddenly, you're no longer naked! Clothing comes in all different forms, such as t-shirts, pants, socks, knickers, my will to live, and much more! Get your first piece of clothing now for only $9999999999999999.9! That's right, and if you order right now, get your second piece of clothing for the price of the first! That's totally not a scam!

Warning: we are not responsible if your clothing gets wet, dirty, sets on fire and burns your house down, or you lose it. If you manage to burn your house down with flaming underwear you should seriously reconsider your life choices...

Now back to the heroes!

… who were completely lost.

"This is a dead end," Mikasa said.

"It's because of the wallllllllll." Petra said. Since, yeah, there is a giant wall around the place our heroes lived in. In case you didn't know.

"LET'S HAVE SOME SPAGHETTI!" Papyrus cheered. It began raining pasta.

"This is ridiculous," Chara sighed. "Perhaps we should've looked at a map or something before going on this treacherous adventure."

"They say the Memelord speaks in hands…" Armin said. He flipped the bird to the sky. "I'm pretty sure this is how it works."

Nothing happened.

Chara sighed. "Well that was-"

Suddenly the genie thing appeared!

"Surprise, suckas," it said, making jazz hands.

"Oh great," Chara sighed. "You again."

"Yep, it's me," the genie said. "How's it going?"

"Awful," said everyone.

"Same lol," said the genie. "So I heard y'all were looking for the memelord?"

"Yeah," Annie said. "Can you help us find them?"

"Nah, now excuse me while I don't give you helpful advice," said the genie. "The way to the memelord is through that grocery store over there."

Eren looked confused. "But you just-"

"Great!" Chara said quickly. "Let's go, children!"

And so everyone went to said grocery store.

"So they have a grocery store here, but no phones," Annie said. "Wonderful."

"Silence, you side character," Chara said. "Let's find the way to the Memelord."

"SPAGHETTI!" Papyrus screamed. He grabbed all the packets of pasta and cans of sauce in the store, and threw them into a shopping trolley. He then ran outside, Bonetrousle blaring in the distance. The police chased after him. While they did that, Chara stole all the chocolate available.

"You're breaking the law, you know," Levi told Chara.

"Also, I'm pretty sure a few chapters ago it said no one had chocolate aside from Chara." Mikasa said.

"Who cares about all of that?" Chara asked. "We're here to find the way to the Memelord's place!"

"We abandoned Papyrus, too," Petra said sadly.

"He will be fine," Chara said. "His brother will probably give the police a bad time or something." The group kept walking around, looking for the way to the Memelord.

"My love," Eren said. "I have to do a wee-wee. Please don't leave without me."

"Sure." Chara said. As soon as Eren was gone, they turned to the others. "Quick, let's get out of here before he returns!"

The group ran around, looking for the way once again. Then they found a mysterious door.

"Quickly!" Chara yelled. The group ran towards the door.

But then, suddenly, the magical toilet monster appeared!

"You thought you could leave without me, bae?" Eren said, sitting on top of it. His pants were missing. Everyone began blushing, because they saw some things they were better off not seeing. "No. We are going to be together forever, whether you want to be or not!"

"What the Hell is this?!" Chara yelled, like pretty much everyone else.

"CHARGE, SIR URINAL!" Eren screamed.

"NYEH HEH HEH!" Papyrus suddenly burst through the wall on the Flying Spaghetti Monster!

"STEP AWAY FROM THE HUMANS!" Papyrus yelled.

"YOU DARE CHALLENGE TO ME?!" Eren screamed. "FIGHT ME IRL!"

The two started fighting. It was the most intense anime battle anyone had ever seen.

"When I think it cannot get more stupid," Chara sighed, "somehow, this fanfiction not only defeats my expectations, but murders them in cold blood."

"Maybe we should just go," Mikasa said.

"That we should," Chara said. "But how? Those fools are blocking the way."

And then, because things couldn't get any dumber, a magical unicorn descended from the Heavens.

"I am Kim Jong Oof," the unicorn said. "And I will take you to your magical destination."

And with that, the unicorn finally got everyone through the door.


	16. Backstreet's back alright!

Chara checked their watch. "Something tells me this journey was put on hiatus for a few months."

The author began sweating nervously.

"Where've you been?" Mikasa asked, suspiciously. "Practicing Fortnite dances?"

"Look, I can explain," I said. "I've been writing two other fanfics that actually aren't as stupid as this one, I have a YouTube channel, I draw things, and I'm making a comic! Plus! I have to do homework. And I totally don't procrastinate. Give me a break, okay?"

"Honestly, take all the breaks you want," Levi sighed. "This fanfic gave me seventeen terminal illnesses."

"Fine then," I said. "Don't expect this to be updated regularly. I won't discontinue it unless I really have to. So yeah. Updates will come. Eventually."

I then disappeared. Yeah, writing author's notes in the chapter is so cool. So, uh, anyway, what's happening? Oh, right, our quality heroes jumped through a door, riding on a magical unicorn through some magical rainbow void, and they're trying to find the Memelord.

And uh

Time for the intro

*plays Megalovania*

"So, where are we going?" Petra asked.

"To the land of the Memelord," King John Oof (the unicorn) replied, flicking his long, golden mane that would make Rapunzel jealous. "It takes a while. It's like a road trip, but without a road."

"And without twenty hours of Netflix to binge," Armin said, sadly. I guess no hentai for him today.

"At least Eren isn't here." Chara said.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, Eren appeared, and landed on top of King John Oof's head. His… 'little Eren' got caught on the unicorn's horn. He began screaming, very loudly.

"Finally, something entertaining!" Chara said, eating some popcorn that was… just there.

"That screaming will get annoying though," Mikasa said, sharing their popcorn.

"True," Chara sighed. "Levi, be a dear and pull Eren off."

Levi pulled Eren off the unicorn and threw him off. He fell below into the magical rainbow void.

"Now, for the last time, go away!" Chara yelled at Eren's descending figure.

Eren was gone. Or so we thought. But we'll get back to him later. King John Oof landed on some random platform, and the children got off.

"Bye kids," Mr. Oof said. "Have a horrible evening!"

He disappeared.

"So, where now?" Chara asked, looking around.

"We'll just follow the yellow brick road," Annie said. So they followed the yellow brick road, but didn't sing because this ain't a musical fam. It was all really peaceful and stuff, and everyone ate sugar and drove their dentists insane. And someone even did drugs, but because drugs are extremely mature, the author did not show it.

So yeah, that was great, but… then they got attacked by a monster!

"Rawr." the monster said.

"You need to die." said everyone. So the group fought the giant monster, and hot damn I need to stop saying 'so' all the time.

"You stole my chocolate," Chara told the monster, holding out like a billion knives, because as well know, Chara can do that, "I'll never forgive you!"

They kicked the monster where the sun doesn't shine, while Petra blowtorched it because apparently she's a pyromaniac. Where she got a blowtorch from, we're better off not knowing. Mikasa did her thing, and the others did random stuff as well. However, nothing worked against the monster. It was too strong!

"What are we going to do?" Armin asked. "I'm supposed to be smart but I have no clue what's going on!"

"No one knows what's happening, child," Chara sighed. "This story is more of a mess than my social life."

"I have no choice," Mikasa said, saluting to the sky. "To defeat this monster, we must summon the greatest army of all."

"No, you cannot," Levi said, turning away. "It's too dangerous."

"There's no other way!" Mikasa said, tears in her eyes. "I must!"

She raised her voice, and pointed to the sky.

"Levi is mine!" she cried.

Suddenly, a whole army of angry fangirls came running towards her!

"This monster wants Levi!" Mikasa said, pointing at the monster. The fangirls screamed and attacked the monster. It was the most terrifying thing the world had ever witnessed.

"Incredible, how devoted these fangirls are," Chara shook their head in wonder. "Come along, my disciples. Let's leave before they turn on us."

The group left, avoiding flying Levi posters and body pillows. I'm sure Levi felt very uncomfortable. As do I (dabs away the pain).

Now, let's cut to a line break…

* * *

Eren couldn't believe how gay he looked.

There, in the conveniently placed mirror, his reflection stared back at him. His hair was rainbow, and so were his clothes. He looked like he'd just come back from a pride festival.

"What will Chara say now?" he asked. He then realised their gender was… well, their gender could be anything he wanted. So to him, they were a girl. Homosexual problem solved! (I wish the fandom would learn from this.)

"Lmao yeet," he said. "Now, where is everyone?"

He was walking on a big rainbow, that you could actually walk on and wasn't an illusion of the light from the sun and water. Suddenly a Titan appeared.

"Hi," Eren said, nodding to it. "I hate you. Do you know where Chara is?"

"Nah fam," the Titan said, "though, I did see a unicorn thing drop a bunch of people on a platform, about 30 miles north."

"Thanks!" Eren said, cheerfully. "Burn in Hell!"

He went 30 miles north, and saw the platform. A bunch of fangirls were there, going crazy. But compared to him, Eren knew, their love was weak. For he had the greatest love of all: mad obsession.

"Don't worry, Chara babe," he said, laughing evilly. "I'm coming for you!"


	17. Ace Attorney references!

"Seriously?" Chara asked. "I thought this fanfic was over!"

"It's because the author is soooo lazy," Armin said, reading the script. "But somehow, they're finishing this crap."

"What even is this fanfic even more?" Chara asked.

"This is actually somehow more crazy than the original dream I had," the author admitted. "Then again, in the original dream, Frisk was the one who came here, not Chara."

"Why does Frisk get a free pass on everything and not me?" Chara asked. "What makes Frisk so good, huh?"

The author and the rest of the fandom conveniently disappeared.

CUE THE INTRO

*plays ten instruments at once*

Chara face-palmed. "Whatever. Let us find the Memelord so I can finally leave this dump."

The group continued on, passing rainbow waterfalls and flying marshmallows. It was so wholesome and cheesy that everyone began throwing up.

"I hate this place," Levi said.

"Me too," Chara agreed.

"It's okay," Petra commented.

"It is not okay," Chara argued. "Hell is more appealing!"

Suddenly, the group was teleported to Hell.

"Dammit Chara," Mikasa grumbled.

"Mamma mia, here we go again," Chara snapped.

"At least it can't get any worse," Annie commented.

Chara began screaming. "Fool! Never say those words!"

Too late! Eren crawled out of the ground, wearing a bunny suit.

"What in all of history are you wearing?" Chara demanded, shielding their eyes from his horrifying attire.

"Idk," Eren shrugged. "But that doesn't matter! Let's make out!"

"No!" Chara screamed. "Someone kill this fool!"

A bunch of demons appeared and took Eren away.

"Thank God," Armin said.

"Dude, we're in Hell," Levi commented. "That's literally the opposite of what you should be saying."

"Correct, mortal," said a new voice. It was… Satan himself? The audience gasped.

"Hi," Chara said. "Can you take us to the Memelord?"

"The Memelord never accepts visitors, unless their meme power is over 9000," Satan explained.

"I'm pretty sure our meme power is over 9000," Chara argued.

Satan snorted. "It isn't."

Chara scowled. "How do you know, you fool?"

"Because I'm Satan you dumbo!" the devil cackled. "Anyway I'm leaving now, y'all are stuck here forever unless you give me your souls."

"I'll give you a dirt block if you send us to the Memelord," Levi said, holding out a dirt block. Where he got that from, I have no idea.

Satan glared at him. "Fool. You really think I'd accept something like that?"

Levi paled. "I-"

"If you did…" Satan's face lit up. "You were correct! I've always wanted my own pet dirt block. Off you go, kids. Have fun finding Big Daddy Meme."

The group was teleported out of Hell. They appeared in front of a giant castle.

"Well, this is it," Chara said. "This is where the Memelord lives."

The group approached the castle. Suddenly, Eren appeared!

"I'm back!" he screamed.

"Goddammit!" Chara cursed. "Like gum on your shoe, he's impossible to get rid of!"

"Is that a reference to-" Mikasa was interrupted by Eren crying.

"Please take me back senpai oni-chan," Eren whimpered. "I'll be good to you!"

"No," Chara snapped. "Take a hint!"

Chara threw Eren out the window, even though there wasn't even a window, so IDK how that worked.

Mikasa face-palmed. "Let's continue."

The group entered the magical palace thing. It was full of dead memes and living memes, and memes from the 18th century. What? I'm sure those were a thing.

"This place stinks," Levi said.

"Everywhere in this fanfic stinks." Chara retorted.

"I mean that literally," Levi commented, pointing at some poop.

"Gross," Annie said.

"Ignore the crap," Chara scoffed. "We have a Memelord to find!"

The group went up to a receptionist.

"I demand that we see the Memelord right now!" Chara yelled.

"Nah, old Memey's busy," the receptionist replied. "You'll have to make an appointment."

"I don't have time for an appointment!" Chara argued, slamming their hands on the table like Phoenix Wright.

"Well too bad little buddo," the receptionist laughed. "Patience is a virtue!"

"And I have a red soul," Chara said. They slapped the receptionist. "Let us see the Memelord or I will summon the Levi fangirls!"

The receptionist snorted. "Fine! I'll put you in to see him."

"Thank you," Chara growled.

"Smh," the receptionist said, shaking his head. IDK why I even needed to put the 'SMH' there but whatever. Chara and friends finally went to meet the Memelord.

… but Eren wasn't done with them yet. You'll see what happens in the next chapter!

Aka when I feel like updating again lol


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